I hate the derby. Except, of course, when we win. Then I feckin' love the derby. We release DVDs and make desktop wallpapers of our derby triumphs because they're so rare these days. A win over Liverpool is something to be cherished... but mostly derbies are a source of utter dread and I'm glad that there are (usually) only two a season.

That, of course, partially stems from the intensity of the local rivalry, the recent bitterness of which gets dissected and beaten death by the media every time an all-Mersey clash rolls around. Losing to Liverpool just hurts more than any other defeat — unless of course it's a game of significance like last season's Cup Final loss to Chelsea which was just plain agonising, particularly given how much it meant to us — and it's that fear of losing that keeps your heart in your throat and your stomach tied in knots for 90 long minutes.

What drives the forboding nature of this fixture more than anything these days, though, is the infrequency with which we actually beat the Dark Side — for Heaven's sake, even after battering them for 90 minutes at Goodison earlier this season, they still managed to score two goals from about as many chances and come away with the most underserved of wins. Oddly, I couldn't even muster up the energy to be gutted about it — we'd given it our best and just been unlucky.

As they have consolidated their status among the Sky Four and the European cartel of "G" clubs in the past 10 years or so, our successes against Liverpool have become harder to come by. Six wins and a glorious five-year unbeaten stretch in the 1990s contrasts starkly with our paltry two Premier League victories in this last decade. Last season's FA Cup replay triumph was magical because, shorn of strikers as we were at the time, it felt like we'd triumphed over both Liverpool and adversity, but we're still owed some more joy against them by the footballing gods and they know it.

As this season's Anfield derby looms, there's much talk of the Blues' recent form, how it contrasts with that of the Reds and how it might portend the first Everton victory at Anfield since 1999. But, as any seasoned derby observer knows, such analysis is pure folly. That five-season unbeaten stretch we enjoyed in the second half of the 90s coincided with a genuinely dark period in the club's history whereas under the patient David Moyes evolution and the revival in our Premier League fortunes, we've lost nine of the last 15 league derbies. The old cliche, "the form book goes out the window for derbies" is so often true of these matches; just as apt is the feeling that they usually beat us when it matters.

It's true: with Fernando Torres out, the Reds in turmoil off the pitch, Rafael Benitez under mounting pressure after his team fell out of the top four this season and were then turfed out of the FA Cup by Reading, and Everton without defeat in the League since the Goodison derby last December there could be no better time to play them. But at the end of the day, it'll all be about what happens during the 90 minutes... who wants it more, how fair the referee is, and even then, as the first derby this season showed, the better side might not win.COYBB -IMWT-FTRS AND DO,NT EVER FORGET NSNO!!

CAVOUK 5/02/10